Melbourne F1

 An interesting start to the season, as the absence of traction control and engine braking took its toll of the less than skilful or prepared.

While I’m not a fully paid up member of the Lewis Hamilton Fan Club, I do think his Pole/Lights to Flag victory bodes well for his revenge on last year’s fiasco, in which he was Rookie to World Champion in everything but name, as the Dirty Tricks brigade did their worst around him in order to cheat him of the title, and got a hand from a good helping of Bad Luck just to hammer home their power.

I’m so disinterested in him, that I didn’t even know who was actually awarded the title of World Champion last year, and had to read up to find that I should also be watching Kimi Raikkonen, to see how he fares.

The new rules look as if they are improving the spectacle of F1, although they still (in terms of Qualifying) still seems to be written by someone more interested in gathering advertising revenue than in creating interesting qualifying – and proving that leaving money men in positions of influence is a bad idea as they can’t grasp the connection between the two, and only seem to be able to pick whatever has the biggest sponsor value attached.

Frankly, I can’t be bothered with this multi-section qualifying pantomime, and suggest that if they didn’t like the old way of the one-hour straight shootout for pole – because the driver’s waited until the last few minutes to get their best run in and leave the other drivers with not time to reply, then all they had to do was cut the time from one hour to 30 minutes or so. But that would be far too simple, and not let them do complex presentations promising increased numbers to the sponsors.

At least the track action looks set to be interesting, provided it can be squeezed in between the adverts, sponsor tags, plugs for Sony, driver worship, and pathetic shots of Martin Brundle running around the pre-race grid trying to catch celebrities. Since it was Melbourne, it was inevitable we’d be reminded of the old Minogue joke (as he managed to bag both Kylie and Dannii) What’s a Minogue?: An irritating wee thing that makes squeaky noises. (And I did’t invent that, in case you’re thinking of complaining). At least those two are pleasant, unlike the dreadful Kelly Osborne that Brundle dredged up next. I’m told she sings, but I’ve never seen/heard it myself.

Poor old Brundle, wasted so much time trying to earn appearance money from celebs he almost failed to talk to any drivers on the grid, and was so late nearly ever one of them waved him away.


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