Fifth Gear – Fire Johnny Smith – please

Second episode of the 2009 series of Channel Five’s Fifth Gear, and Johnny Smith is still the spare wheel of the team.

This time, a lacklustre item about the BMW and Audi convertibles, from which he gained a free trip to Spain, and the viewer gained… nothing. Well, nothing if you don’t count getting to watch an idiot make a fool of the Fifth Gear audience, as he carried out an an appraisal of the appearance of the two cars in a town square in Spain, by asking the locals, and supposedly being funny because he spoke English, and they spoke Spanish – and he didn’t make any attempt to understand them – other than snigger like a schoolboy – or organise a translator.

Not funny. Not clever.

And do we really need the oversized closeups of his dirty unshaven face at the start of the Cheapskate feature?

For all he contributes to it, he could be replaced by a nice lady doing a voiceover, with no need to be seen.

Not worth whatever he’s paid – which is too much anyway.

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